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Moving on after a breakup

A breakup is one of the hardest things we go through in our life.  It can feel like your heart and body is physically hurting from the emotional pain you feel from your relationship breakup.  You don’t want to eat, or you eat too much you have that horrible anxiety in your stomach, you can’t sleep, and wonder how you are ever going to cope without your ex.Couple having an argument

Sound familiar? It’s hard to imagine ever getting over it?

Well the good news is that’s where we can help.  This site is dedicated to helping you at every stage of your breakup, you will find advice on how to deal with heartbreak in the initial stages, and then what you do to take control of your life again and how to make a quick and full recovery from your own breakup.   You will also find advice on how to not pile on the pounds after a breakup and keep your diet healthy as well as help with the practical side like moving out, finances and eventually moving on after your relationship.

You are not alone either, read other peoples stories and what they have done to recover from their own relationship breakups.

There is no specific time limit to recover from your relationship break up, as everyone is different, that’s the bad news. The good news is that you and you alone control how quickly you recover.

Some of the advice you will probably think well that’s obvious, and yes it probably is but you have to remember that when you go through a breakup and experience loss your mind does not always think properly and can impair your judgment, so sometimes a helpful reminder is all you need

Last year I had a number of bad life experiences and experienced a  breakup that really changed my world, this is my story.   This site is dedicated to what I learnt along the way from my own relationship break down with a view to help others that may experience a similar situation.   

A positive breakup – Is there such a thing?

A breakup although incredibly traumatic and devastating at the time can eventually be turned into a positive.  Heartbreak is unfortunately very natural and nearly everyone goes through it at some stage, by doing so we discover how strong and versatile we really can be and learn what makes the right partner for us along the way.   If addressed correctly you as a person can excel and grow from this experience and be ready for whatever life has to throw at you.  Read through the site and hopefully with time and effort things will become easier.

by Mike Sheppard

Breakup help
Top tips on how to get over your breakup
Thinking about dating again?
We compare the best online dating websites.
Heartbreak help
Find out the 4 stages of grief after heartbreak and how to recover.


How are you getting over your breakup?  Do you agree with my opinions or have better suggestions?
Reading other peoples stories and suggestions helped me immensely, so if you find this site useful please leave feedback and comments to help others, thanks and good luck.




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  1. blood says:

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  2. Marcus says:

    I have been with my partner for 4 years, she is my rock. She is a councilor and because over the years I have suffered from acute mental health, I have learnt to depend on her. It’s a strange thing but you only realise what you once had when it is no longer there. When I see her at the gym, I realise that I made the right decision, the problem is when I am at home on my own, I start to think of all the positive parts of our relationship and it breaks me. I literally have been crying for a week now, I can’t eat, sleep and think clearly. The stress is intense. 4 weeks after we called it a day she met someone else, slept with them and spent the whole weekend doing all the things that I used to do with her, going to the same local restaurant that we always visited, local fairs and other places. It truly is heartbreaking, I feel like the life has been sucked out of me. I can no longer carry this on, I have a plan. If anyone is reading this then this is what you MUST do! Socialise, get out there and meet new people, do not drink or take drugs, just be yourself and enjoy the clarity of clear thinking. There is life after a relationship ends.

    Good luck, do your crying and let it out but remember, you only move on when you alone decide to do so. Immerse yourself in new friendships.

    Right now, 4 weeks later I know my ex is sharing a bed with a new man, another weekend spent together.

    Be strong.

  3. Marcus says:

    Will will all get through this

  4. bangaloreboy says:

    i didnt have a real girlfriend but i still broke up.. the break was from the hope of getting her. when hope goes away, emptiness occupies u.

  5. joane says:

    I was with my boyfriend for 8 years. We always ended up fighting and breaking up but still we always finds our way to get back. A month ago we broke up, like always I am still hoping that everything will gonna be alright. but it doesn’t. I was thorn apart when he said he done enough and he dont want me anymore. It really breaks my heart until today. I texted him several times and there’s a day were I begging him to come back with me but he just ignore me. It’s really torturing me everytime he push me away and what makes me hurt the most is he started dating another girl while my life had come to a complete stand still. I cried most of the day remembering him. I love him so much. I even lose weight and cannot eat anything. people keep telling me to move on and get over it but they dont understand.. I just want to forget everything and start a new life..

  6. Tracey says:

    My partner of 3 years has recently left me, I also lost my dad 2 months ago, i feel unable to cope, I cant sleep, or eat. I have lost 10kgs in 3 weeks. Just feel so churned up and sick all the time.
    I love him so much, and cant imagine not having him my life. We live quite close to each other, and his life has carried on as normal,Hes still going out for a drink etc.. where my life had come to a complete stand still.
    I dont want to let go of him, and keep hoping that he will change his mind and come back to me. I have texted and messaged him several times, making myself sound needy and pathetic, but he just ignores me, which make me so upset. Sometimes i just want to die, i miss him so much, I hope someone can give me some advice please? x

  7. WENDY says:

    I am not sad about a recent break up as I decided it wasn’t right.
    We had being seeing each other for 14 months and I had not got to know the real him
    before becoming too close. Now I have learnt my lesson and have been able to protect myself even though he says he loves and respects me….I know he is lying as actions do speak louder than words. The only advice I can give others is too enjoy being free to do what you want and protect yourself & family ( I am a single mum). Even if you have been dumped…in the long run they have done you a favour as you can now look after your own well being, be true to yourself & live your own life.
    Men are more attracted to women who show them they are not that interested in the outcome of a relationship with them…as this increases the male competitive streak. But it also shows how the basic sexual drive of men rules them and how to not let the bull that men say & show you change who you are or change the relationship power i.e. he controlling the process and testing if you will try & please him all the time….as in predictable & easy.
    I am now in the stage after lots past pain & being too loving & trusting that I will have the upper hand in future, be my self…which is loving & kind….but not manipulated 🙂
    I have so many convincing begging letters & game playing words from past relationships that it is very funny how similar men think ,projection dear friend in a negative form about women…& sometimes men too…so change the power in a nice way but in your favour & you will find inner peace, happiness & no more bull.
    Good luck in your recovery ….& you will recover, believe me :))

  8. Daisy says:

    I wrote earlier saying that my ex and I broke up over a letter he left me. I have since spoken to him and he said that he did it for us, that he couldn’t bear the heartake anymore and did not want to hurt me anymore or run the risk of never speaking to me again. I’m finding thus difficult and can’t seem to think straight or accept what has happened although it was extremely difficult when we were together. Has anyone been though anything similar? And how did you deal with it?

  9. Daisy says:

    I just broke with my boyfriend of 4 years. He wrote me a letter and said goodbye to me as he headed off for the weekend, giving me a kiss and cuddle as he went and saying love you and see you later, knowing that I would find the letter when I got up in the morning. I have been finding it very hard to accept and keep going through a mix of emotions. Any advice on how to get past this?

  10. wendy says:

    hi i have just broke up with my partner of 9 years we have a 6 year old little girl together.he went out on a saturday and never came bk no phone call no txt nothing.his mum phoned me 2 tell me he wasnt coming has now been 2 weeks and still havent seen or heard from him it is killing me.he likes his drink and i would always kick him out because he wouldnt cum home but he would alawys phone me begging for me 2 take him bk and i would everytime.he has also cheated on me severl times and a have took him bk.he used 2 phone me saying he loved me and he wanted 2 be with me and that he was sooo 4 him 2 do something like this is just right out of carachter.i phoned him.and all he had 2 say was its not working i want 2 drink and do my own thing 4 a while and that he dose love me and always will but not in love with me.i just havent got any closure at all.just dont know how hes went from loviing me and wanting 2 b with me 1 week and now 2 this with no contact at all.he was supposed 2 take his daughter last sat and all he did was take her swimming and dropped her off at his mum 2 watch 4 the nite so he could go out drinking and he didnt evan c her b4 she left his mum brought her bk.its now nearly another week past from he evan seen her and not evan botherd 2 contact her or evan try 2 c heart is sooo broken and a feel like theres just no way forward.i havent ate for 2 weeks now a just feel drained and dumb.i feel reading this page a bit of help thanks evey1 xx

  11. jessie says:

    After 23 years of marriage 3 kids their father choose this drugs and house parties over us he enjoyed it to much lost my home lost my mum during our break up still tries to mentality abuse his daughters but they are learning slowly my son hates his dad for what he has put me and his sisters through and I cant see it ever mending ,the hurt and anger I feel sometimes is over powering but I always remember my mum telling me on her death bed to let him go she loved him like a son, bought him clothes payed his bills clothes his children and yet he made her out to be a liar when he stole from us to pay for his drugs how can a man I loved for 25 years treat his family like dirt but a year down the line we have a lovely home all my children are in a healthy envoirment happy and have came out of hiding. Myself I m still single and am in no rush for a new relationship still hurt when I see him don’t love him anymore so why does this happen I know we can never be friends never mind lovers reading this site helps and know Im one of many who believed in love but had to take a realistic view of life, some day me and the kids will find someone who will treat us nicely and want us in their life until then life goes on and it will get better

  12. Kimmie says:

    Me and Jay recently reconciled. While visiting Jay his ex girlfriend showed up and needless to say, I was BEYOND pissed and hurt. After asking the million dollar question as to why she had showed up, he asked me to leave but not before I slapped the shit out of him and bid her good night. I was so depressed, cried and yes, acted a little childish and told all his friends and even had a “break up” party. As I stated, Jay and I reconciled, and things seemed to be good between us again until he recently lost his job. A little history: I met Jay when he was unemployed. I have a very nurturing spirit and I am very spiritual. When a lead came through for a job that he wanted I prayed with him and for him. The first month on the job was stressful due to him being much older than me and not working for so long and the labor was difficult for him (he has health issues) as well as me because I was used to seeing him everyday. When he was working, I tried my best to see him when he allowed me and when he could because I work full time and part time. But two month into it, he said that he needed a break. He couldn’t focus on me and his new job and all his issues (he recently ran into some legal trouble). So I tried to back off but it felt that neither one of us could stand it so we started back talking and he invited me over: Cue, in walks the ex-girlfriend. He has recently lost his job due to health and he is back to his old ways drinking. During this time, we were good. Talking everyday, seeing each other on a regualr again. This past weekend was great, we basicly spent it together. Monday, was the last day we spoke, and I have called him and everyday except Tuesday. So, since he wasnt’ returning my calls, I went over to his house, to find him sitting on the couch. I asked if everything was okay with him and he said yes. He said that he didn’t like the voicemails that I left and I gave him a “I DON’T GIVE A F” look. I asked him what his excuse is now because he’s not working and he said that he’s just been hanging out with his friends. After I left his house, I realized that this kind of relationship with the inconsistancies, and someone who doesn’t have the common courtesy to return my phone calls isn’t something I want. I love Jay and it seems that he isn’t ready for what I have to offer him. I need to back off, but I don’t want to be a quitter. He’s been left before and for me that is a lot of pressure, but at the same time, if this is the way he is NO WONDER! I want to be strong but it’s hard to let go of someone who gave me everything that I never had from a relationship before. We talked about the ex coming to his house and he said that he wanted closure. That he never got the chance to ask why she did the things she did because it was affecting our relationship. I can’t fault him for that because I have done the same thing with my ex. I just feel that I need to back off and let him go through what he needs to. I realize that his problems are bigger than what him and I have together. I am a single mother to two kid, working two jobs, and when I have days off, I just want to be with my man, with no problems and I want HIM to be here with me. How funny, today is my day off and I go to his house to find him with no explanation as to why he hasn’t called me and I’m sitting on this website typing my problems because I have no one to talk to! I have been planning weekend getaways for us so we can relax and reconnect and he can’t even connect on the phone. Does anyone have any advice on how to just back off? I try to tell myself that he’s already an ex that means no good, but then I think about all the good qualities and the fun and my fingers get to itching and I want to pick up the phone or drive over, just like now. I can’t keep doing this to myself. I have to let go and I have to do it fast. It makes me feel like I am only good when things need to be celebrated or mourned, nothing in between like it used to be. Should I feel back when my calls are not returned for two days? And we are in a relationship. Is this being clingy, because I expect to hear from my boyfriend in a timely manner? Is it clingy that I want to be around someone that I love when I can because can not due to scheduling? I don’t know, all these questions are in my head.

  13. Gigi says:

    Very depressed. Married for thirty years. Trapped in an abusive relationship. Terrified of running. My lover of 23 years , who is some 17 years my senior has just dumped me for a women of his own age. Was in love. He was the only light in my life. Guess we will remain friends -but very hard. Feel god awful.

  14. cassie says:

    Life couldn’t have been better when he was around. I loved him so much I could catch a grenade for him. It all started wen he stopped attending to my needs. So many tins happened but I couldn’t let go. He brooke up with me. Its jst two days and I feel my world is crashing. I ve got nobody to talk to. I couldn’t sleep so I browsed on breakups and found dis. I don’t knw how my world will be witout him

  15. Lazypieman says:

    Hi Nikton, Sorry to hear your loss, I can relate to that myself and also your partner splitting with you shortly after losing someone close, it is a really difficult time to go through. If you need to speak to someone it may be worth chatting to a proffesional counsellor as it sounds like you are going through a lot at once and it can be overwhelming, trust me I know!! Keep you your friends and family close and talk to them if you can, as they will help you through all of this, and remember things will get better. Thinking of you, Mike

  16. Nikton says:

    T got depressed in October & wouldn’t see me for six weeks. My father died Nov 6th. Nov 14th was my birthday. 1 1/2 weeks later, T disappeared without explanation, not answering my calls & messages. I was depressed after my father’s death, I’m very insecure, and I’m used to the people I care about disappearing. Due to these factors, I interpreted T’s absence as he didn’t want to talk to me. After about 10 days, I finally sent T a text asking why he wasn’t answering my messages, that he said he cared about me, & I missed our conversations. The next day, T answered that he’d been away without a phone signal. He said no one else was upset by his absence (no one else was used to daily contact with him!), and that he was uncomfortable that I’d assume something negative about him. I explained about my depression & insecurity. T said he understood, that he wasn’t upset. He wrote a bit about his Thanksgiving, sent a joke, and then a smile when I joked in reply. I thought everything was OK. But then I didn’t hear from T again. I wondered if T had gone away again. I was also worried~ I didn’t know if he was dead or alive. After about a week, I went to T’s place, and was shocked to find that he was at home. I suddenly realized that I’d been left for no reason, and that T didn’t even tell me, had in fact led me to believe that everything was all right between us. I rang the bell. T wouldn’t come down. I rang the bell for a while, and T called the police! Not only was T not man enough to come down and tell me what was going on, but he wouldn’t even tell me that he didn’t want to talk to me. T said that he had very strong feelings for me, that he loved me. He said we were friends, and our friendship was the most important thing. T had also told me that he’d never forget how I was there for him when his father died. He dumped me 2 1/2 weeks after my father’s death!

  17. Foolish says:

    I thought I was doing well. So what if he abandoned me half way through the miscarriage of our child? So what if he was selfish and a complete bastard and I better off without. Then I drank vodka and called him turning into a wailing banshee as I did it. That’s not to mention the 15 texts I sent calling him scum. I think I wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt me and boy he has hurt me on a physical and emotional level more than anyone I have ever known. Not that happy with myself and he’s defo deleted from now on. I suspect in time the anger will go. I hate him. He walked away without a care and left me dealing with all the crap he did to me without a care.

  18. Sue says:

    I’ve come to realise that I was living with and seriously dating a sociopath. When he left he had no remorse or any feeling and when we were together he was controlling and manipulative. It took one of my friends to point it out when they witnessed his behaviour and were shocked by it. I feel in love with someone who was incapable of genuinely loving me back. To warn you- here’s what he did:
    1. Established trust early by presenting himself as the caring soul & victim with a pyscho ex. He did this on date 2.
    2. If I was ill – he was worse. When I got seriously ill, he blamed himself whilst never once thinking about me. All of sudden it was about him – again
    3. If I criticised his behaviour, he would twist it back around so it made me think I was at fault
    4. Always searching for something else. Not ever really happy.
    5. Controlling. I knew what to wear, when to eat and also how many times I had to go to the gym
    6. Suffocating in his need to be around me 24/7 and had NO lifelong friends. Had no friends period.
    7. Lacked empathy when I got emotional. He would excuse his behaviour by saying he was “logical” and he did not do emotion
    8. Selfish. If we were doing something it would be because he wanted to… He was never really interested in what I wanted to do.
    9. Tried to stop me seeing my family and did not encourage me to see my friends.
    10. Instinctively I knew there was something wrong with him but I could never put my finger on it as what they do creeps up on you.
    They account for 4% of the population. If you sense they are run run run. They will never ever value your heart.

  19. Cath says:

    The break was a while ago and the road has been a difficult one but recently I started to see the light and here are the things which helped me – I hope they help you too:
    1. Get rid of all things related to that person. I had ten bags of his stuff which I asked him to take away under the guidance of my freind as I did not want to see him
    2. Get exercising. When I felt like I wanted to curl up – I went swimming. It really took the edge off the despair for a while.
    3. Get a journal. I did this as I have a habit of bottling things up and this made me face things whether I wanted to or not.
    4. No contact for at least two weeks. I did this and it gave me time to reflect.
    5. Talk to your friends. Reach out to them. They will be there and mine were wonderful.
    6. Understand that you are NEVER going to know what was actually going on in the mind of your ex. Mine stated recently that he knew I was unhappy and that made him unhappy hence why he finished it via email when we were living together.
    7. Try not to get angry. The only person you are going to hurt is you. I sold his games console… that made me feel somewhat better but also pretty foolish.
    8. Cry, cry cry. Get rid of the toxins and embrace the tears. I broke down in a public park on the phone to my Mum and sobbed for about an hour… it did me the world of good.
    9. Don’t rush it. Take it day by day and understand that what you are feeling will get better. I could not sleep, eat and wanted to cry all the time and went through punishing spells of self blame. This has passed a little. It takes two for a relationship to work…
    10. Get out. Force yourself out of the house and go and do stuff that you never could with your ex. For me that was meeting my friends on a one to one basis etc
    I hope this helps everyone. I really do. Try to do these things. I am on the road and I am not there yet but I can see a future where this isn’t in my life.

  20. Ben says:

    My girfriend dumped me out the blue after 3 years. Me and her mum didn’t get on as she was really controling. It was only last week she was saying how much she loves me and can’t live without me to then being dumped. She said she was confused and didn’t know what she wanted but that she still loves me. When I ring or text she ignores me so I stopped contacting her. She then phoned me friday and left me a voicemail as I didn’t answer saying I was just seeing if you we’re ok I’m sorry for being a bitch I do still love you in my heart I’m just confused and don’t know what I want. Then yesterday she told me to move on. Today is the first day where we haven’t spoken to each other atal it hurts a lot and I can’t sleep! The only thing is that my job is next door to where she works and all of my collegues know her its a really good job but I don’t know whether to leave it or not? If anyone has any good advice for me I’d be so grateful.

  21. susan says:

    Rea, I too am going through the same. You sound like me. I have lots of love to give to the right man, thought I was with him. I heard the same, I dont know. Thing is it was his dreadful jealousy and possessive behaviour that caused the problems we had. He watched my every move like a hawk, inc my bank statements and mail. We werent even living together and had only been together since Dec 2010. He wanted to get me pregnant in our first month together. I think now that he was tring to trap me, own me so I was tied to him forever. He didnt seem to think that I had a choice in the matter. He didnt want to use protection. When I started to show my own feelings and needs he seemed to go against me. Seemed to become defensive towards me. I wasnt ready to have a child and yet he would say that we should just chance it. Looking back now I dont recall he ever asked me how I felt about important issues. Like pregnancy. I think he saw it as a logical step. When I showed him I had my own needs, thoughts, feeings he backed away. I do love him and I do miss him but I know the pain will go away. Ive already been divorced and had a long term relationship of five years end so I know the happy times arent that far away. Its the here and now that hurts. Im trying to take each day as it comes but my arms still ache for him. I long to see his face and hold his hand but I know he isnt willing so what can I do? Become something Im not so I make him happy? Barefoot, pregnant and tied to the kitchen sink. Instead of planning happy fun times hes concentrating on tying me down forever. I see he is selfish,insecure and self centrered now. How dare he try to push pregnancy on me?
    It still hurts me a lot as I still care deeply but hes rejected me. I didnt become his brood mare or his possession so he left me! Did I have a lucky escape? Right now I want him back so it doesnt feel that way but in the future, who knows? We have to go on. We have no other choice. The pain is the price we pay for being alive, human and loving. If we didnt chance it then we have empty lives. Love is everything. Its all we are here for.

  22. susan says:

    Dear Heartshock, Your final sentence blew me away. That you dont know how to make yourself want to let go. I really dont think anyone has put it as beautifully as this. My heart is broken too. I dont need to tell you everything as we all have our own stories. The point is as you make it. I know I must move on but right now I dont know how to make myself want to. Just like you say. My admitting to it its as if we have given up hope of a reconciliation. I see exactly how you feel.I feel it too. I dont want to let go yet. I want to have hope. I do have hope. My moving on I feel Im letting go of hope. Im stuck. So are you. Right now. I dont feel that moving on is a conscious decision. I eel it just happens to us. We do move on. I dont really believe anyone who says they made the hurt go away by making a decsion. It may seem to them that they have but in reality I think its just that the time has healed the pain and circumstances change in their lives. They REALISE they have moved on but they didnt plan it. If it was that easy we would all kove on immediatley and nobody would be on this website or indeed any other heartbreak website. We dont decide. It just happens. I know. My husband of 15 years left me for another woman. My last relationship of 5 years has just ended. Im alone. No kids, just cats. I feel like a joke, like a caricature in a play. A 46 year old lady with no husband or kids. Thankfully I donr wear fingerless gloves and I hope I dont smell. I wear Coco so if I smell I should smell ok!!! I know that the pain will end, it will for you too but it will happen in time. We cant make it happen any sooner because each of is i made of different stuff. We all heal in different ways at varying degrees. I dont believe it can be made to happen. It just does. End of. It always does. Dont compare yourself with someone who moved on faster than you did. It doesnt matter. They didnt have a magic pill. No body has it. If they did we would all be buying it wouldnt we???? No secrets, no magic. Its just time. Im on Love to you.

  23. Rea says:

    My boyfriend ended things after two years with a “I just don’t know what to do for the best” after months of him going cold and acting distant. He claims he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, but he just doesn’t feel like himself anymore. We were about to move in together and I feel he just got cold feet.

    When we met he was a funny, kind, considerate man. Declaring love and he would marry me one day. I’ve never felt so secure and happy in my whole life. I was single for 18 months after a bad break up when I met him. He turned 30, lost a load of weight (encouraged by me for him to look and feel better) and he changed with every pound lost. The last few months of our relationship, the dynamics really changed and it went from him feeling insecure (he always claimed he was punching above his weight with me!) to me being a clingy, insecure wreck. Not attractive!

    He claims that he doesn’t know what to do for the best. I asked if it was a break up or a break and he kept saying I just don’t know. I don’t know means no! I don’t know means I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I have done already.

    There’s been no contact for weeks. I feel it’s time for me to walk away dignified and poised and after a brief chat a few days after he dumped me, where I remained calm but told him I didn’t want this to end, I haven’t contacted him since. In fact, I have deleted his contact information so I cannot be tempted to humiliate myself further.

    I’ve finally accepted he won’t change his mind. But I had hopes and dreams for this relationship. And now I feel so alone and fear I may be on my own for what seemed like an eternity before. What’s so wrong with being alone? Well I for one have a lot of love and good qualitites to give to someone. I just like to share my life. Please cupid, send me a replacement! He was a decent man. I hope there are others out there that I can be compatible with.

    I can’t eat, I can’t sleep and have terrible anxiety attacks. Time is a healer. Trouble with time? It takes time 🙁

  24. Francine says:

    I was with my ex 2 1/2 years. He told me he loved me, told me he wanted to marry me. I met him thru a friend a few months after a 15 year marriage that was really bad. I thought I was safe. He filled my head with all the things someone would want to hear after being treated wrong for years. He said he would never harm me in the same way. Anyways I took him into my home, my family helped us relocate to another state. We got on our feet got an apartment. He finally started working and turned into a monster. Ended up throwing me and my 16 year old son out on Thanksgiving and threw our things out into the front yard on my birthday a week later. After a month I am hearing about all the woman he is with all the partying that he is doing in the apartment we got together and just so much more I now know he was cheating on me on-line the entire relationship using a false name and age and basically lying to every woman he is talking to. I am starting counseling and even though I know the whole relationship was a game to him I was not playing a truly loved him and the hurt lies with he only used me to get ahead. i am trying to be logical and realize that he is not worth the pain I am still feeling even knowing the truth about him but it still hurts deeply. Just stumbled across this website and think I may be visiting it quite often.. Thank you

  25. sarah says:

    Feeling alot better today, had a real good read of this site, brilliant stuff. i had a simular situation as my father died 2 months after my ex left, we where togther 16 years and he didnt even come to see me after my father died, but 18 months later, things are looking up, i know some days are good some days. if anyone wants to chat. im on

  26. Louise says:

    Hi all, i still dont seem to be able to come to terms with my break-up? dont feel that much better after 18months, we were togther for 16 years. any advice?

  27. Louise says:

    Hi, I got dumped nearly 3 weeks ago after 2 years, the problem was I knew he didn’t love me but stupidly held on hoping he might change. I changed my whole routine and lifestyle to make him happy because he was terribly jealous and overwhelmingly loving and attentive in the first 9 months so I was hooked. I loved him so deeply and got very depressed when he started going cold towards me, as soon as I made my feelings clear he backed off and then it just got worse, something really horrible happened which I cant mention but he left me with no conscience and I took him back cause I was BLIND. He was a good practical boyfriend taking me to different places, mostly his choice tho but emotionally he wasn’t there, I call him easter egg, nice and sweet on the outside but hollow and empty on the inside. I realize even tho I feel broken and extremely low he has done me a service you cant be happy with someone who doesn’t love you because it will only dent your self worth and make you ill. I hope you can all find the strength to move forward, its a long road but you have to walk it, good luck.x

  28. sarah says:

    my ex got up one day and left never to return, we where married 16 years. he told me i never want children, next thing i know he is with some woman who has 3 children now he is having another one with her !! i cant tell you the hurt i feel, now 37 no family, no husband, only few friends who i dont want to keep on to. its a hard life, my only comfort is hopefully what goes around comes around and i will find happyness again.

  29. heartshock says:

    I still love my ex. As much as we been thru my heart says its nt enough to give up on us and all I want eveyday is for us to work it out . He says things that bfs would say to me online indicating that he still loves me but whenever I suggest we try again he shoots me down. I feel like he says enough to keep me hanging on and uses this on going hurt thing. He is like chatting to two individuals. One moment loving an the next horrible implying that I will on easily or I should go party and hook up with other men. He told me that today an I said becareful what u wish for. If a man u love can hurt u wat harm can a man that doesn’t do. He stopped talking to me and deleted me from his chat contacts. All I want is stop missing him and wishing he’ll come back to me. I don’t know how to let go and I dnt know how to make myself want to

  30. macie says:

    my boyfriend left me two years ago for another woman completely out of the blue. i was devestated. we have a child which makes it alot harder for me to get over. in the two years hes had two relationships but everytime his relationships are rocky he keeps coming home to me saying hes sorry and he still loves me i believe him but then he goes back to his other woman leaving me heartbroken all over again and his child confused!!! i know hes bad for me and clearly doesnt have any respect for me so why the hell cant i let go and move on???? i really want to stop loving him because its making my life a misery.

  31. Mike says:

    I cant imagine how hard it must be living in the same house as your ex and I think she is dealing with this situation the best way she knows how to as well, it must be very hard for you both. I think the best thing you can do is be around your friends and family, speak to them and see if they would mind you staying round theirs for a while until you have sorted this situation, if you can try and get out of each others hair so that you can both grieve your relationship without each other being around, even a cheap hotel for a few nights might save your sanity. I know what you mean about ending it all as i have been their myself but beleive me its not worth it, things will change, even though it is hard to see at the moment you will get over this, i promise. Speak to your friends and family they will help you, or if you want to speak to someone confidentially the Samiritans are really good to turn too and chat through your problems, there number is 08457 90 90 90. Good luck, it may not seem like it now but things will start to look up and you WILL!! be happy again. Mike

  32. bully says:

    My wife and I divorced 3months ago,we still share the same house
    Waiting for it to be sold,she goes out,comes late at night,goes away
    On weekends,and I can’t move on,all I can think of is her,and what she is doing
    It is killing me,I can’t take it,I feel like ending my life,I prayed
    So often,asking god to help me get over this,its still feels the same
    I don’t know what to do

  33. jayne says:

    this is a really good website, thanks for the advice.
    I have had 22 years of marriage, survived 14 affairs that he had, but been a fool and kept taking him back.
    we were supposed to be trying again recently untill i discovered he already had another girlfriend.
    i know i have to work on myself now for my future happiness and that of my children.
    it helps knowing that others have/are going through similar break-ups
    and that you can survive a broken heart
    take care everyone x

  34. PP says:

    Thanks for the great advice, it really does help, no it does not stop the pain of a breakup but at the lows it really helps you to think straight..
    I had ten years of a bad marrage and was mentally abused by my wife! Yes hard to admit but I still kept it going for my two little girls, I was on medication for depression..In the end I moved out, stopped the medication and felt so much better in myself, then she told me she had met someone and was going to have him stop over in our house with my girls! This ripped my heart out and the pain has been unbearable for a few weeks, this site has really got me back down to earth, its very hard indeed but I just keep on taking every day at a time and even when I look back over the last few weeks I am slowly healing..
    Thanks again for a great site

  35. KR says:

    This website is fantastic! Thank you! It is 3.38am and I can’t sleep for thinking about my ex. So I searched the internet for break up websites and found this page. It makes me feel better just knowing that I’m not the only person to feel this bad and I will get better. I’ve made this page my homepage for now – I think it will help me to focus on getting better rather than being tempted to look up the ex on facebook!! (Which I have been doing a lot recently and it’s hard to see that he’s moved on so quickly and also to see that he was already moving on during our last few months together). So hard not to check though!!
    I have felt so down during the past few weeks and have felt like there was no way I’m gonna get over this but reading your advice has given me some hope, so thank you again. Hope you are enjoying Canada! x

  36. Jude says:

    i am so glad i read everything here on this website and have saved it to my favourites.
    it has helped so much as i constantly have looked on the internet for ways to help the grief and torment I am feeling after my 17 years marriage broke up recently

    i do now know i loved him more than he loved me, and even though we had the most brilliant relationship for many years i never expected we would ever be apart.

    i think my reaction is due to a snowball of traumas which i never faced until now and our break up was the straw that broke me.
    in 2005 i had major surgery for cancer, (i got the all clear this year)
    in 2007 i had a serious RTA and was lucky to be alive after a serious chest injury
    in 2008 my husband met his ‘childhood sweetheart’ and dedcided he wanted to be with her, but then changed his mind again and came back to me

    in september we decided to give ourselves some time think and breathe, but within 2 weeks he had met someone else
    that hurts so much
    but maybe i didnt deal witth all the other grief of the past 3-4 years

    i know i must deal with the pain but feel tormented at every turn

    i will start putting ideas here into action


  37. Xbox gamer says:

    First love, first heartbreak, I put all of my heart and soul it that relationship. I lost a lot and even hitting rock bottom.
    It hit me hard and the amount I put into the relationship and with way it ended, it shouldn’t of happened to anybody.
    Locking myself away in my parents house, waking up each day thinking about how life could screw me some more and thoughts running around in my head of how I should put myself out of this world.
    But I found myself, day after day, talking to a close group of friends about my break up and explaining how bad I was feeling and what was going on in my head (the good and the bad).

    A friend of mine also put me on this website, when I was alone and couldn’t talk to anybody at times and it really did help.

    I am not saying that I’m back to my normal self and 100%. But it has taken most of them really bad thoughts from my head and helped me get back to normal again.
    If your reading this, friends and family, talk to them, they WILL understand, they WILL stand by you and they WILL help you get your life and happyness back.

    Thank you for making this breakup site, it has helped me through these rough times.

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