A break up can be one of the hardest things we go through in our life. It can feel like your heart and body is psychically hurting from the emotional pain you feel from your break up. You don’t want to eat, or you eat too much you have that horrible anxiety in your stomach, you can’t sleep, and wonder how you are ever going to cope without your ex.
Sound familiar? It’s hard to imagine ever getting over it?
Well the good news is that’s where we can help. This site is dedicated to helping you at every stage of your break up, you will find advice on how to deal with heartbreak in the initial stages, and then what you do to take control of your life again and how to make a quick and full recovery from your own break up. You will also find advice on how to not pile on the pounds after a break up and keep your diet healthy as well as help with the practical side like moving out, finances and eventually moving on after your relationship.
You are not alone either, read other peoples stories and what they have done to recover f
rom their own relationship break ups.
There is no specific time limit to recover from your relationship break up, as everyone is different, that’s the bad news. The good news is that you and you alone control how quickly you recover.
Some of the advice you will probably think well that’s obvious, and yes it probably is but you have to remember that when you go through a break up and experience loss your mind does not always think properly and can impair your judgment, so sometimes a helpful reminder is all you need
Last year I had a number of bad life experiences and experienced a break up that really changed my world, this is my story. This site is dedicated to what I learnt along the way from my own relationship break down with a view to help others that may experience a similar situation.
A positive break up – Is there such a thing?
A break up although incredibly traumatic and devastating at the time can eventually be turned into a positive. Heartbreak is unfortunately very natural and nearly everyone goes through it at some stage, by doing so we discover how strong and versatile we really can be and learn what makes the right partner for us along the way. If addressed correctly you as a person can excel and grow from this experience and be ready for whatever life has to throw at you. Read through the site and hopefully with time and effort things will become easier.
How are you getting over your break up? Do you agree with my opinions or have better suggestions?
Reading other peoples stories and suggestions helped me immensely, so if you find this site useful please leave feedback and comments to help others, thanks and good luck.
First love, first heartbreak, I put all of my heart and soul it that relationship. I lost a lot and even hitting rock bottom.
It hit me hard and the amount I put into the relationship and with way it ended, it shouldn’t of happened to anybody.
Locking myself away in my parents house, waking up each day thinking about how life could screw me some more and thoughts running around in my head of how I should put myself out of this world.
But I found myself, day after day, talking to a close group of friends about my break up and explaining how bad I was feeling and what was going on in my head (the good and the bad).
A friend of mine also put me on this website, when I was alone and couldn’t talk to anybody at times and it really did help.
I am not saying that I’m back to my normal self and 100%. But it has taken most of them really bad thoughts from my head and helped me get back to normal again.
If your reading this, friends and family, talk to them, they WILL understand, they WILL stand by you and they WILL help you get your life and happyness back.
Thank you for making this breakup site, it has helped me through these rough times.
i am so glad i read everything here on this website and have saved it to my favourites.
it has helped so much as i constantly have looked on the internet for ways to help the grief and torment I am feeling after my 17 years marriage broke up recently
i do now know i loved him more than he loved me, and even though we had the most brilliant relationship for many years i never expected we would ever be apart.
i think my reaction is due to a snowball of traumas which i never faced until now and our break up was the straw that broke me.
in 2005 i had major surgery for cancer, (i got the all clear this year)
in 2007 i had a serious RTA and was lucky to be alive after a serious chest injury
in 2008 my husband met his ‘childhood sweetheart’ and dedcided he wanted to be with her, but then changed his mind again and came back to me
in september we decided to give ourselves some time think and breathe, but within 2 weeks he had met someone else
that hurts so much
but maybe i didnt deal witth all the other grief of the past 3-4 years
i know i must deal with the pain but feel tormented at every turn
i will start putting ideas here into action
thankyou
This website is fantastic! Thank you! It is 3.38am and I can’t sleep for thinking about my ex. So I searched the internet for break up websites and found this page. It makes me feel better just knowing that I’m not the only person to feel this bad and I will get better. I’ve made this page my homepage for now – I think it will help me to focus on getting better rather than being tempted to look up the ex on facebook!! (Which I have been doing a lot recently and it’s hard to see that he’s moved on so quickly and also to see that he was already moving on during our last few months together). So hard not to check though!!
I have felt so down during the past few weeks and have felt like there was no way I’m gonna get over this but reading your advice has given me some hope, so thank you again. Hope you are enjoying Canada! x
Thanks for the great advice, it really does help, no it does not stop the pain of a breakup but at the lows it really helps you to think straight..
I had ten years of a bad marrage and was mentally abused by my wife! Yes hard to admit but I still kept it going for my two little girls, I was on medication for depression..In the end I moved out, stopped the medication and felt so much better in myself, then she told me she had met someone and was going to have him stop over in our house with my girls! This ripped my heart out and the pain has been unbearable for a few weeks, this site has really got me back down to earth, its very hard indeed but I just keep on taking every day at a time and even when I look back over the last few weeks I am slowly healing..
Thanks again for a great site
this is a really good website, thanks for the advice.
I have had 22 years of marriage, survived 14 affairs that he had, but been a fool and kept taking him back.
we were supposed to be trying again recently untill i discovered he already had another girlfriend.
i know i have to work on myself now for my future happiness and that of my children.
it helps knowing that others have/are going through similar break-ups
and that you can survive a broken heart
take care everyone x
My wife and I divorced 3months ago,we still share the same house
Waiting for it to be sold,she goes out,comes late at night,goes away
On weekends,and I can’t move on,all I can think of is her,and what she is doing
It is killing me,I can’t take it,I feel like ending my life,I prayed
So often,asking god to help me get over this,its still feels the same
I don’t know what to do
I cant imagine how hard it must be living in the same house as your ex and I think she is dealing with this situation the best way she knows how to as well, it must be very hard for you both. I think the best thing you can do is be around your friends and family, speak to them and see if they would mind you staying round theirs for a while until you have sorted this situation, if you can try and get out of each others hair so that you can both grieve your relationship without each other being around, even a cheap hotel for a few nights might save your sanity. I know what you mean about ending it all as i have been their myself but beleive me its not worth it, things will change, even though it is hard to see at the moment you will get over this, i promise. Speak to your friends and family they will help you, or if you want to speak to someone confidentially the Samiritans are really good to turn too and chat through your problems, there number is 08457 90 90 90. Good luck, it may not seem like it now but things will start to look up and you WILL!! be happy again. Mike
my boyfriend left me two years ago for another woman completely out of the blue. i was devestated. we have a child which makes it alot harder for me to get over. in the two years hes had two relationships but everytime his relationships are rocky he keeps coming home to me saying hes sorry and he still loves me i believe him but then he goes back to his other woman leaving me heartbroken all over again and his child confused!!! i know hes bad for me and clearly doesnt have any respect for me so why the hell cant i let go and move on???? i really want to stop loving him because its making my life a misery.
I still love my ex. As much as we been thru my heart says its nt enough to give up on us and all I want eveyday is for us to work it out . He says things that bfs would say to me online indicating that he still loves me but whenever I suggest we try again he shoots me down. I feel like he says enough to keep me hanging on and uses this on going hurt thing. He is like chatting to two individuals. One moment loving an the next horrible implying that I will on easily or I should go party and hook up with other men. He told me that today an I said becareful what u wish for. If a man u love can hurt u wat harm can a man that doesn’t do. He stopped talking to me and deleted me from his chat contacts. All I want is stop missing him and wishing he’ll come back to me. I don’t know how to let go and I dnt know how to make myself want to
my ex got up one day and left never to return, we where married 16 years. he told me i never want children, next thing i know he is with some woman who has 3 children now he is having another one with her !! i cant tell you the hurt i feel, now 37 no family, no husband, only few friends who i dont want to keep on to. its a hard life, my only comfort is hopefully what goes around comes around and i will find happyness again.
Hi, I got dumped nearly 3 weeks ago after 2 years, the problem was I knew he didn’t love me but stupidly held on hoping he might change. I changed my whole routine and lifestyle to make him happy because he was terribly jealous and overwhelmingly loving and attentive in the first 9 months so I was hooked. I loved him so deeply and got very depressed when he started going cold towards me, as soon as I made my feelings clear he backed off and then it just got worse, something really horrible happened which I cant mention but he left me with no conscience and I took him back cause I was BLIND. He was a good practical boyfriend taking me to different places, mostly his choice tho but emotionally he wasn’t there, I call him easter egg, nice and sweet on the outside but hollow and empty on the inside. I realize even tho I feel broken and extremely low he has done me a service you cant be happy with someone who doesn’t love you because it will only dent your self worth and make you ill. I hope you can all find the strength to move forward, its a long road but you have to walk it, good luck.x
Hi all, i still dont seem to be able to come to terms with my break-up? dont feel that much better after 18months, we were togther for 16 years. any advice?
Feeling alot better today, had a real good read of this site, brilliant stuff. i had a simular situation as my father died 2 months after my ex left, we where togther 16 years and he didnt even come to see me after my father died, but 18 months later, things are looking up, i know some days are good some days. if anyone wants to chat. im on sarah.hornett@hotmail.com mailto:sarah.hornett@hotmail.com
I was with my ex 2 1/2 years. He told me he loved me, told me he wanted to marry me. I met him thru a friend a few months after a 15 year marriage that was really bad. I thought I was safe. He filled my head with all the things someone would want to hear after being treated wrong for years. He said he would never harm me in the same way. Anyways I took him into my home, my family helped us relocate to another state. We got on our feet got an apartment. He finally started working and turned into a monster. Ended up throwing me and my 16 year old son out on Thanksgiving and threw our things out into the front yard on my birthday a week later. After a month I am hearing about all the woman he is with all the partying that he is doing in the apartment we got together and just so much more I now know he was cheating on me on-line the entire relationship using a false name and age and basically lying to every woman he is talking to. I am starting counseling and even though I know the whole relationship was a game to him I was not playing a truly loved him and the hurt lies with he only used me to get ahead. i am trying to be logical and realize that he is not worth the pain I am still feeling even knowing the truth about him but it still hurts deeply. Just stumbled across this website and think I may be visiting it quite often.. Thank you
My boyfriend ended things after two years with a “I just don’t know what to do for the best” after months of him going cold and acting distant. He claims he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, but he just doesn’t feel like himself anymore. We were about to move in together and I feel he just got cold feet.
When we met he was a funny, kind, considerate man. Declaring love and he would marry me one day. I’ve never felt so secure and happy in my whole life. I was single for 18 months after a bad break up when I met him. He turned 30, lost a load of weight (encouraged by me for him to look and feel better) and he changed with every pound lost. The last few months of our relationship, the dynamics really changed and it went from him feeling insecure (he always claimed he was punching above his weight with me!) to me being a clingy, insecure wreck. Not attractive!
He claims that he doesn’t know what to do for the best. I asked if it was a break up or a break and he kept saying I just don’t know. I don’t know means no! I don’t know means I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I have done already.
There’s been no contact for weeks. I feel it’s time for me to walk away dignified and poised and after a brief chat a few days after he dumped me, where I remained calm but told him I didn’t want this to end, I haven’t contacted him since. In fact, I have deleted his contact information so I cannot be tempted to humiliate myself further.
I’ve finally accepted he won’t change his mind. But I had hopes and dreams for this relationship. And now I feel so alone and fear I may be on my own for what seemed like an eternity before. What’s so wrong with being alone? Well I for one have a lot of love and good qualitites to give to someone. I just like to share my life. Please cupid, send me a replacement! He was a decent man. I hope there are others out there that I can be compatible with.
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep and have terrible anxiety attacks. Time is a healer. Trouble with time? It takes time
Dear Heartshock, Your final sentence blew me away. That you dont know how to make yourself want to let go. I really dont think anyone has put it as beautifully as this. My heart is broken too. I dont need to tell you everything as we all have our own stories. The point is as you make it. I know I must move on but right now I dont know how to make myself want to. Just like you say. My admitting to it its as if we have given up hope of a reconciliation. I see exactly how you feel.I feel it too. I dont want to let go yet. I want to have hope. I do have hope. My moving on I feel Im letting go of hope. Im stuck. So are you. Right now. I dont feel that moving on is a conscious decision. I eel it just happens to us. We do move on. I dont really believe anyone who says they made the hurt go away by making a decsion. It may seem to them that they have but in reality I think its just that the time has healed the pain and circumstances change in their lives. They REALISE they have moved on but they didnt plan it. If it was that easy we would all kove on immediatley and nobody would be on this website or indeed any other heartbreak website. We dont decide. It just happens. I know. My husband of 15 years left me for another woman. My last relationship of 5 years has just ended. Im alone. No kids, just cats. I feel like a joke, like a caricature in a play. A 46 year old lady with no husband or kids. Thankfully I donr wear fingerless gloves and I hope I dont smell. I wear Coco so if I smell I should smell ok!!! I know that the pain will end, it will for you too but it will happen in time. We cant make it happen any sooner because each of is i made of different stuff. We all heal in different ways at varying degrees. I dont believe it can be made to happen. It just does. End of. It always does. Dont compare yourself with someone who moved on faster than you did. It doesnt matter. They didnt have a magic pill. No body has it. If they did we would all be buying it wouldnt we???? No secrets, no magic. Its just time. Im on ziggysue@fsmail.net. Love to you.
Rea, I too am going through the same. You sound like me. I have lots of love to give to the right man, thought I was with him. I heard the same, I dont know. Thing is it was his dreadful jealousy and possessive behaviour that caused the problems we had. He watched my every move like a hawk, inc my bank statements and mail. We werent even living together and had only been together since Dec 2010. He wanted to get me pregnant in our first month together. I think now that he was tring to trap me, own me so I was tied to him forever. He didnt seem to think that I had a choice in the matter. He didnt want to use protection. When I started to show my own feelings and needs he seemed to go against me. Seemed to become defensive towards me. I wasnt ready to have a child and yet he would say that we should just chance it. Looking back now I dont recall he ever asked me how I felt about important issues. Like pregnancy. I think he saw it as a logical step. When I showed him I had my own needs, thoughts, feeings he backed away. I do love him and I do miss him but I know the pain will go away. Ive already been divorced and had a long term relationship of five years end so I know the happy times arent that far away. Its the here and now that hurts. Im trying to take each day as it comes but my arms still ache for him. I long to see his face and hold his hand but I know he isnt willing so what can I do? Become something Im not so I make him happy? Barefoot, pregnant and tied to the kitchen sink. Instead of planning happy fun times hes concentrating on tying me down forever. I see he is selfish,insecure and self centrered now. How dare he try to push pregnancy on me?
It still hurts me a lot as I still care deeply but hes rejected me. I didnt become his brood mare or his possession so he left me! Did I have a lucky escape? Right now I want him back so it doesnt feel that way but in the future, who knows? We have to go on. We have no other choice. The pain is the price we pay for being alive, human and loving. If we didnt chance it then we have empty lives. Love is everything. Its all we are here for.