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Break-up Questions

When you go through a break-up, a thousand questions spin through your head at a million miles an hour, sometimes you think so much about events that it hurts. So below I have tried to answer some of the most common questions you experience after a break-up.


Why did we break-up?
Is probably the most common question asked after a break up, sometimes you see the break-up coming sometimes it blind sides you. Either way it is hard to deal with. Speak with your partner find out if you can work through your problems, find out why?
But be prepared a lot of the time there is no why, your partner may not even know themselves, they just instinctively know the relationship is not working. Don’t beat yourself up though, people and relationships change, it is no one’s fault so don’t assassinate your own character because of this. You will heal, you just need time. See the How to get over a break-up page for more reading.



Why do they not love me anymore?
This is the hardest question to deal with, and it can drive you crazy as you ask it over and over again and wonder if you could have done something different. The same way people fall in love, is the same way they fall out of love and just as quickly sometimes. The human brain is the most complicated computer we know of which we still don’t understand and when it comes to love we may never understand. Not the answer you wanted to hear I know! But maybe try asking a new question “Was I ok before they loved me?” the answer is probably yes “Will you be ok without their love in the future?” again the answer is yes. You will survive this heartbreak, you will be happy again and you will love again, these things will all come back to you. You may never know why they fell out of love. But you can learn to love life again and I promise you once you do that, love will find you again.



Why did they cheat on me?
People cheat for all sorts of reasons, for revenge, for instant gratification because they are unhappy or because like the thrill or power, it could even be a drunken mistake. I believe these reasons to be selfish and give little or no respect to you. A drunken mistake happens and if you can find it in your heart to forgive them, then good for you. But if it happens over and over again you have to ask yourself if they are giving you the respect you deserve. Please, please don’t think you could have done anything different and please don’t lose faith in relationships, not everyone cheats and not everyone thinks it is ok to cheat. In my opinion you deserve someone that loves you and respects you enough not go behind your back, you can do better!



How can we get back together?
There are loads of books and websites out there saying they can get you back together with your ex, some might even work. But I always view these claims with scepticism as I think that a lot of them are money making scams to prey on people when they are venerable.
My advice is to talk it through with your partner and try to work things out, give them and you thinking space, sometimes space really helps. Don’t bug them; don’t grovel, especially if they have made up their mind. If they have said that its final, you have to deal with it unfortunately, these things happen, but you can still have your own self respect. Hold your head up high and walk away knowing you still have your dignity, and that it just wasn’t right this time.



What could I have done to stop us breaking up?
Unfortunately, nothing, it’s happened and you have to start to come to terms with it slowly. It is natural to feel like this and you will probably replay this question over and over again in your mind, however it really does you no favours as you cannot change anything that has happened. The best thing to do is give it time and gather your thoughts and emotions. While it is fresh just give each other some space and then after a week or two meet up with each other and have a chat. Do not push the other person into meeting up; it will push them further away if anything. Be prepared that even after talking with them again it may not work out. As cliché as it sounds it is just not meant to be, and you will get over this break-up, you just need some time.



What if I had changed, would things be different now?
You will never know, but ask yourself this, do you really want to change your personality? And even if you had changed there is no guarantee that they would have like the new you anyway, they fell in love with you as you are now, not someone different. When you find the right person, it will all feel natural, you won’t need to change you can just be you and they will love you for who you are. Be yourself, that’s who your family and friends love and that is who your partner should love, if not then they are not right for you.



Do you agree with my answers or perhaps you have other questions, I would love to hear your thoughts below?

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