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Should I Break-up or not?

Sometimes in relationships you feel something isn’t right and it is natural to think is this person right for me, should we break up?  Well you’re not alone many people experience this and it is one of the hardest things to deal with, is this person completely wrong for me or is it worth trying to fix this issue?  Should we split up or should we try and fix this issue?

Is it them, or you? – Firstly ask yourself is it really an issue.  Sometimes all of us can get hung up on the tiniest of things, when actually in the big scheme of things it is a minor issue.  Talk to your partner; make them aware of what it is that’s bothering you.  Don’t shout, or nag, just talk, they may not even be aware that it bothers you that much.

Can you work through it? – Ok so you have had a massive row over something or other and you are both feeling angry and sad about the whole situation.  First of all give it time, maybe sleep on separate beds or at your own place that evening and see how you feel the next day.  Give yourself time to think, what is the actual problem? And remember sometimes things are said in the heat of the moment that neither party mean, it is just anger and lack of an argument that can make us say these things.  Give each other space and try to talk when you are both calm, calmness and talking are the key to solving any issues.

Is it a deal breaker? – I think people can forgive most things but I would imagine the two things that are real deal breakers are cheating and violence of any sort.  This isn’t always a deal breaker for some people but it certainly would be for me, as it shows a lack of respect for the other person and without respect how can you have an equal understanding relationship.  I know there are so many factors in any relationship, but if you experience either of these I believe it is time to have a serious think about if you still want to be with that person.

However everyone makes mistakes so ask yourself can you forgive them this one time. Can you trust that person still, if the answer is no, then they may not be the person for you, no one wants a relationship without trust and respect.  These should be the minimum requirements surely!

How long have you been feeling like this? – Sometimes it doesn’t have to be a massive reason to break up with someone, it may just be the spark has gone, or was never there. Or behaviour that you have tried to ignore but you just can’t cope with anymore and it now irritates you to distraction.  If you have spoke to them, and tried to work it out on numerous occasions it may well be time to move on.

Personally I think a relationship is about trust, respect, teamwork and most of all happiness and love.  Physical attraction is a factor as well, but if you have the above then this is an added bonus and you can count yourself lucky.  Unfortunately most of us will lose our looks as we get older, unless you’re really lucky.  But if you can spend your years with a soul mate, a friend who loves you as much as you love them then you will lead a rich and fulfilled life.

Relationships can be hard sometimes but if you work hard at them the rewards are amazing.  Sometimes however you are not with the person that you should be and it is hard to know when to quit and move on.  At the end of the day only you can answer that question and it does take a lot of courage and bravery to be the person to break up and even more sometimes to carry on.

 

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One Comment

  1. Very good post. I will be dealing with a few of these issues as well..

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