Life after your Ex
The relationship was a big part of your life and it will take a while to readjust to your single life without your ex. But it’s not such a bad thing; there
are plenty of positives about being single. You are now free to do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it, that’s a pretty amazing feeling if you think about it. Complete freedom and independence, not knocking the relationship but independence can be a nice feeling.
So what if your ex is not around to share the experience, they may not have liked the new you anyway. There are not many times in your life when you experience this level of freedom, so now is the time to enjoy your life to its full potential again.
Going out again – Why do I need to read this I know how to go out? - Yes we all do, but it’s so easy to get caught up in the old holding pattern of doing the same old things that you did in your relationship. After your relationship it’s nice to experience change and do different things, that’s one of the benefit of being single, it will also help your recovery process
Now depending on your age will depend on your social circumstances in terms of going out and enjoying yourself. Generally when you are younger a lot of your friends are single and are always out partying anyway, so it can be easy to jump back into the social scene. Your mates will love to see you again so get out there.
Sometimes though all of your friends are coupled off, this was the situation I was in, normally happens when your older, although I am only thirty. This was a genuine worry of mine; the fact that I had no one to go out with, as all my close friends rarely go out and when they did it was always in couples. So what do you do?
No couples allowed – Without being harsh but the last thing you want is to be hanging around happy couples straight after your break up, so try to just invite your friends without their partners, to be honest you may still want to talk about the break up and that’s a lot easier with just your good mates around.
Hang out with different people – Hang out with people outside of your immediate close friend network. If someone invites you out for drinks after work, go for it.
Don’t wait to be invited – “No one goes out at work though”, so become the social organiser its easy, it’s one of the easiest ways to earn brownie points at work as well. You will make new friends and improve office/work moral, all with a night down the pub.
Organise a day out with friends/family – Organise a day out with your friends lots of fun, there’s so much to do and try. Having new experiences always help. Stuck for ideas? Here’s just a few
- Go for a day out in a city you have never visited before, England has some great cities and towns
- Visit a theme park for the day
- Treat yourselves to a day pampering yourself
- Organise a picnic at the park with games maybe
- Go to a snow dome and learn to ski or snowboard
- Shopping for the day
- Try wake boarding
- Visit an exhibition or museum
- Get on a train and go somewhere you have never been, random I know but always fun
- Go ape – adult assault course which will get your heart racing again
Book a Holiday – Even if you don’t have anyone to go away with travelling alone can be more fun than when with you are with someone. I went to Australia and Canada by myself and had a great time and made some great friends. I stayed in different hostels and would highly recommend them, they are cheap and affordable and a really great way to meet people.
If you are not quite feeling the hostel thing, I understand, there are great single person package holidays out there. Where you and a group of other single people all go on holiday, an easy way to make friends and I bet you will have a whale of a time.
Hobbies are a good way to meet people – Find a class in something you have always enjoyed or would like to try.
- Learn a musical instrument – Why not learn to play an instrument or learn to sing, after all people are normally at their most creative after heart ache, a lot of the best love songs have been written after break ups
- Join a sports club, football, cycling, netball, basketball, badminton
- Photography lessons
- Learn to become a DJ
- Try some different classes at the gym
The good thing about joining a class or club is that you normally meet other like minded people who enjoy the same things as you..
Go to a Music Festival – If you have been to one, you know why I am writing about this, they are an amazing experience, if you haven’t been book a ticket now. They are great fun; especially if you are single you will have a great time!
Living in the UK means we are spoilt for choice with festivals, there is one pretty much every weekend for the whole of summer. Glastonbury is a huge festival catering for many different genres of music, but you have V, Reading, Tea in the park, Bestival, The Isle of Wight festival and many, many more.
Getting out and about again really helps and keeps you busy, before you know it you will be so busy you wonder how you ever had time for a partner.
Ok, I’m back…some time has passed, and I do still have tears, and I do still feel sad (especially since I saw my ex on Thursday but didn’t speak to him), but I am feeling better than a few weeks ago…. I have booked a holiday (well two actually to take me to the end of the year), changed my gym from 01 Nov 10 onwards (for that ‘new’ feeling), noticed other guys noticing me
Basically, I’ve been swimming a lot recently, and now starting to look much fitter 
I have been eating a lot of healthy food, not drinking much alchohol at all (just smoking far too many ciggies). But things are getting better… I even joined an internet dating site, but not sure about that. Have been chatting to someone who lives miles away!! Still, it’s nice to chat to him. Reading this again some weeks later, has encouraged me to leave another message, and I will be back again… hope it helps others….
Reading this has been just like reading my emotions if they could be printed. My husband of 14 years just walked out. Told me he wasnt happy and it wasant me it was him. Then I got his phone bill. What a liar. He has now left and has admitted that he has someone else. I am still at the stage of thinking was it me. Could I have done something to prevent this happening. I am 56 so is not easy to get back into the whole social thing. Anyway. This site has been good to check that I am not alone in how I feel. Lets just hope that I can get over it like you did. XXXXXXX
I have been feeling extremely low after my husband of 17 years walked out on me and my 2 young sons. Like others on this web site i keep blaming myself for him going. I found out 3 months after he left that he had been seeing someone at work and had probally been doing so for ages. It has been some time since he left and perhaps i should be ‘moving on’ by now?. I keep reading the word ‘Forgiveness’ and how it will help. I know that he would like us to get along and possibly be friends but I know that this is what he wants, it would make him feel better and less guilty. Because of this I am cold and bitter when I speak to him. The stupid thing is that the only person hurt is me. He does not appear bothered at all.
I have taken comfort from this web site reading what others are/have gone through. Thanks.